Monday, January 5, 2015

The 2015 Fabrications: Ben Franklin Saved Rock Music


The influence of Benjamin Franklin helped the resurgence of the mighty Van Halen, including the reunion with lead singer David Lee Roth.

The background:
In 1975, a television sitcom premiered and ran for nine seasons called "One Day at a Time." This sitcom starred Bonnie Franklin, a distant descendant of one of the United States' Founding Fathers, Benjamin Franklin.  Bonnie had been a regularly working performer for a number of years, but it was not until she fully embraced trading on her great-great-great-great-great-great-great uncle's status as an American hero did her career bloom. "One Day at a Time" enjoyed several in-jokes playing off the Benjamin Franklin connection, including several quotes being used frequently. For example, who can forget Dwayne F. Schneider stating his catchphrase, "Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise," for the rest of the main cast, only to be rebuffed by their feminism?
Another star of the show, and arguably the breakout star, was a teenage actress named Valerie Bertinelli. In fact, Bertinelli won the role because she had just finished a report on Benjamin Franklin in school and was able to do well on a test given during auditions. Bertinelli met rock guitarist Eddie Van Halen during her time on the show and the two developed a romantic relationship.
The romantic relationship between the two stars turned into a marriage which lasted for many years. Through the up and downs of both Valerie's and Eddie's respective careers, the marriage seemed to be going pretty well, resulting in a son named Wolfgang Van Halen.
Fast forward several years and Valerie and Eddie divorced, but remained close and tight parents to Wolfgang. Wolfgang wound up inheriting his father's musical genius, and became very interested in playing music with his father, his uncle (Van Halen drummer Alex Van Halen) and Van Halen's original lead singer David Lee Roth. This desire allowed all parties involved to make up, tour, and even create new music together.
So, to recap: Benjamin Franklin was pretty cool. His descendant, Bonnie Franklin, used Ben's coolness to make her TV show a hit. Her co-star, Valerie Bertinelli, got her part due to her knowledge of Ben Franklin's coolness. Valerie Bertinelli met and married Eddie Van Halen and together they had a son named Wolfgang. Wolfgang convinced Eddie to make up with David Lee Roth. The mighty Van Halen rose once again to provide the world with the best rock music ever. Therefore, Benjamin Franklin saved Van Halen and thus saved rock music.

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