My Take on the Best Picture Nominations for the Year 2013

(To begin, imagine a huge musical number with lots of glitter and glam, with lyrics referencing the biggest movies of the year. Imagine singers and dancers and choreography and camera cutaways to audience members. Imagine the orchestral swell and the stage giving itself over to the heart of the musical beast. Imagine the glorious gowns and perfectly tailored tuxedos. Imagine all of this and then imagine the giant golden idol that everyone here salivates over - Oscar. Have you imagined all that? Good. Now, go put your head in the oven, because there will be none of that here.)

Oscar time! Nine movies have been nominated for Best Picture this year, and as a last-minute attempt to help the Academy voters, I have put together small synopses/reviews of each film. The kicker is that I have seen exactly zero of the following films, so please forgive any inaccuracies.